Poem "Make a Gesture"

[part one]

can't escape the feeling / that the only way to get anything
is to chase it down and catch it
can't get around the apparent reality / that the only way to get anything
is to give something better in return
that the only way to get there is to be there first

maybe that's just life / maybe it's just thermodynamics
maybe it's not supposed to make sense

can't escape the feeling / that nothing i have to give will get me in the door
the toll of the bridge / is a bottomless pit
that only exists to swallow more and more
maybe if you fall, someone will catch you / maybe that's what it takes

[part two]

now with a clear mind / i ascend the staircase to you
to find that my grand gestures were only smoke screens
for running my fingers thru your hair
like clumsy thimbles thru a feather
they don't match
but like sometimes different shades of blue
together they make something like music

[part three]

hello / this is different / it's familiar
it's a sliver of what i've been waiting for
and that's a start
in a wind tunnel, i can finally breathe
and falling from far up in the atmosphere, i can finally see

reverb and echo, and a modulating bassline
have restored my spirit, and now i can feel okay
about painting my face with racing stripes
give me a short sleeve shirt under a windbreaker
and some dark red running shoes and a faded pair of jeans
and i'll map the coastline
just to be able to throw my arms around you


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Poem "The Aftermathematics of Recovery"

don't remember / the best thing you can do is to forget

you need a short memory / if you're to recover for the next set

don't overthink it / just take a moment to be dormant

still your thoughts and collect your wits

all that you need is a handful of pine needles / and your quadriceps

and a low fire flickering in the autumn wind

you will wake again / into the stillness of oblivion

as you climb through the clouds at the summit of this moment

into the clear / into the the wings as you reset again

don't go it alone / a fist has nothing on the grip of another hand

but we don't always get to choose

and you do what you have to do to make it thru today

maybe this is how it has to be

and maybe that's okay

you will wake again / into the stillness of oblivion

as you climb through the clouds at the summit of this moment

into the clear / into the the wings as you reset again

have seen it all before

and am so tired of going around and around in this revolving door

don't come back this way / find a different, better path

the whole point of the experience

is to escape the darkness of the past, for the light

because there's something better over the horizon

just take a moment more to be dormant

collect your spirit and collect your wits

let the lava rise to light your eyes

and drink up the ocean of this moment

with your inner fire

you will wake again / into the energy of infinity

as you inscribe the sky with calligraphy

one dream to find you, one dream to bring you back to life

one dream to put the magic back in your eyes

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i see fire

Poem "Citrine"

i’m feeling just a little bit miserable

still recovering from that high / that i hit a little while ago

tied to the same clichés that we try to transcend

and the end looks suspiciously like the beginning

step in from the heat, to where the l-e-d's come on at night

absorb the sound and suck in the ghostly whites

from the audio cones and the black lights

i don’t know if this is gonna work out this way / but it’s worth a shot

sometimes good things happen when you just let the music play

don’t stop the music / it’s okay to go crazy when you dance

it’s no problem, the only problem is in your mind

sometimes ya just havta to break down and take a chance...i know that

‘come on’ is what came from me

put myself out there to take it all in / and i am afraid now

a victim of the very thing that i tried to avoid

and now the music just sounds like noise

well, turn it over / pull the ripcord with a vengeance

i need you more than i can admit

as afraid as i am of interpersonal fission

my eyes need to see you in my peripheral vision

need to know you’re there

need some sort of reassurance / that you’re not going anywhere

she said / that it’s not me it’s you

well, isn’t that always the way that it always is?

conventional wisdom says that it’s all in my mind

and no one ever got anywhere by going insane

she said / that she flipped the switch for faster than light

and i can’t keep track of that velocity

it’s just a stream of details that are already obsolete

there's no access to a tesseract without a cardigan sweater

is that you in it? / is that a euphemism? 

if these small consolations are the background pattern in my mind

and the small constellations are the background noise in the sky

then i just need to bleed in broad strokes

so take the high that you hold in your hand

turn it over, and pour the syrup straight outta the sun

i can feel it coming up, mercury in a vertical line

things’ll get better, no life till indiana jones leather

i'm sorry for the conflict of interest, but it'll all make sense

when you see how i've got it arranged on pinterest

okay, so i sold my soul for an easy way out of that

but no damage done, damn it, the world isn't flat

the best moments are always the most eccentric and distorted

and there's no beauty without some eccentric proportions

and this may get it wrong

but as long as you know what i mean

don’t stop the music  /it’s okay to go crazy when you dance

it’s no problem, the only problem is in your mind

sometimes you just havta to break down and take a chance

bring down the horse and leave it all out on the floor

and that’s the variable that summons the singularity

leaves with you and me, hand in hand, through that door

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w/i/p / meanttobelyrics / cstar

Poem "Voyager"

i’ve already spent half a lifetime / mining data for you

in the pipeline defined by my programming

taking photographs / and slowly unraveling the truth

i’m getting farther away from the beginning

but i can’t figure out how to stop being the same thing

and i can’t shake the sensation that I’m spinning

maybe not spinning in place / but what’s the difference / it’s still spinning in space

i’d give anything / nay / i’ve already given everything

just to get away from this place

i’ve nearly spent a half-life / burning through the sky

my thermoelectric generators’ radioisotopes

are approaching their expectancy / and getting so damn tired

the knowledge of the meaning of the universe

can be your blessing, or it can be my curse

and the way that the radiation reads depends on where you are

out here, there are no falling stars / just crossing lights

i’d give anything / nay / i’ve already given everything

just to get away from this place

i’d give anything / to break the bad habits that hold me

i’d give anything / to break out of orbit

but who i am / is something to do with hieroglyphics

and gold and white sands

an encrypted construct of someone's mind

and a bunch of other stuff that there’s a chance

that no one will ever understand

so set me to music / light me on fire

program me with your deepest desires

in space, no one can hear you dream

but if you listen very closely, you can hear your own heart breathe

i'd give anything for it to be quiet enough

to hear myself when i stop thinking

i'd give anything / nay / i’ve already given everything 

just to break away / into interstellar space

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a metaphor, of all things

stardate oh-eight-two-five-two-oh-one-two

Poem "Dusk"

is this a test? / what do you want from me?

getting closer to collapsing / something's getting closer to happening

it's not a question / not if, but when

it doesn't make much sense / but there's an inevitability in the dissonance

is this a question? / if what you're saying is relevant / then the answer is yes

your harmony / is our symphony / is the the first note of this rhapsody

reach the crest of infinity / and turn away / this is how i'm gonna play it

it has to be this way

i'm keeping my eyes open / even though that bypass shorts the imagination

can't disappear into virtual reality / until you've written the equation

the sky fills with smoke / like octopus ink in a liquid globe

the walls of this room / used to be dark blue / now the canvas is black

your darkness / is my dawn / is the door in to the jumping off point

on the verge of insanity / on the verge of despair

almost falling off from the top of the stairs

but it's not over / we're turning a corner / curving to approach infinity

the rainbow paint dries / and your tears become tattoos

and the next time that you open your eyes

you know exactly what you want

is this a question? / if and when and infinity

the answer to everything is yes

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Poem "Buenos Aires"

if and when you find me

leaning against the back of the chassis / of a fallen starship

if and when you find me / eyes closed / underneath the dorsal fin

just tap me on the shoulder / with your index finger

and i’ll unzip my jacket to let you in

like a stick of light / that you only have to snap to ignite

your signal is all that i need to receive / to reilluminate my eyes

we make it our personal responsibility / to hold an umbrella over this city

if and when we land / in an alpine meadow / on top of the andes

if and when we can relax / for just a moment / before the war goes on

you don’t even have to open your eyes

just tilt your head / and hold my hand / and smile

like a lithium ion battery / we can recharge almost as many times as we need

given a consistent source of energy / we can approach infinity

some things go right / in spite of how much of everything goes wrong

the light in your eyes / stays on

some things seem to persist / in spite of how very little they make sense

until their end / it’s not a question of if / but when

we make it our personal responsibility / to hold an umbrella over this city

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world of noon by vombavr

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starship troopers / may twenty-fourth

Poem "Reactorspheres"

more than one ball of fire in the sky

close enough to be comforting / but at a safe distance

at your beck and call / you can turn it down

when you move your hand like a wand

or accelerate the particles to the point

where your eyes turn gold / to shield your soul against an overload

nothing more than / a fracturing sphere

under the surface of your consciousness / in a dark and brackish pond

i’ll pick up the pieces / if you don’t mind / while you dry yourself out

that’s just how we work / how we are

water cooled / centrifuges / head-first / into you, over me

the water flows to a head / into its ending / and our beginning

a midst the mists /and the wintergreen

you’re not dreaming / we’re having a moment / this is synergy

the sun winks at you / through the fractal geometric trees

cascading chain reaction

it’s not the photograph / it’s your caption

i love you

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Poem "Red Star"

every time I cross an intersection

every time I see a red honda civic

i have an instant of obsession with whether it's you in it

your code is still running in my mind

facial recognition software / crossing the lines

but that update's passed its time / you and me / we're obsolete

it’s better the sooner we come to terms

and accept the road as better for its curves

but what does that really mean?

was driving north / thru turnagain pass

and suddenly, overtaken tactlessly

cursed the insensitivity that some people have

maybe there's some irony in that

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closure / revised on stardate 060514

Poem "Nowwhen"

it doesn't make sense / it doesn't help

to know that everyone else / is doing okay

it's a small consolation / to know

that the star you've been following doesn't exist any more

that it was just your imagination's interpretation

of the bleeding light of an extinct constellation

all we need / is release from the pain / please

we were meant / for more than the doom / that we've collapsed into

we were meant to be more / than these wrecks washed up on this lonely shore

we were destined / to look to the stars

with the potential to become / more than we are

i don't know how it's come to this / it's the hope that's missing

the sky was retracting / into the back of a getaway van

leaving me alone / in a void all my own

i'm broadcasting to tell you that i still care

if there's a chance that there's anyone still out there

i haven't forgotten about you

i'm just drowning in an ocean of endless blue

until something snaps my synapses / and i wake

whatever it takes

all we need / is to feel the pain / for just a second

and then release

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Poem "Albatross"

"albatross"

the dark side of taking risks / is the complication of your existence

there's nothing unprecedented about this

the dark skies above us / are only a side effect

of staring into shadows / with our eyes closed / in apprehension

i was going to say / that it’s not as simple as it seems

but maybe it’s a lethal dose of simplicity / inescapability

you may be able to free me from my guilt

but i cannot get by myself

i’ve come to understand that this is just the way it is

there are no options / d’y2 think that i have a choice here?

white lining around the borders of the clouds

the quiet draws out the sadness

my white whale / is poles apart / from my holy grail

and so the quiet draws out the albatross

the cover of the north / is four corners of a clean-pressed shirt

the melancholy / in your maturity

the sounds of a sad, soul album / recorded ten years after the fact

it’s the motion capture of your slow collapse

it’s the sound of snowflakes being born

in the origin of the path of capricorn

in a river of silver / i am born again

that’s just the way it is / it’s your existence / just live with it

white lining around the borders of the clouds

the quiet draws out the sadness

my white whale / is poles apart / from my holy grail

and so the quiet draws out the albatross

the stillness fills the space with empty brackets

there’s no motion for the camera to capture

the anchor holds the present just below the surface

hits the pause on the play for the purpose

the weight bends my wings down to the earth

there is no escape from this rotational curve

waving goodbye to myself in the mirror

when i know that i’ll always find myself right there

the stillness summons the albatross

in a river of silver / i am born again

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some burdens just persist

Poem "See"

"see"

half-timbered cottage / in the cottonwoods and the cherry blossoms

sharply trained sporting dogs

and you in your riding clothes

my inner self knows

that your inner dimension / is more than just serenity to mask your tension

the simple sense / of elegance / in your style

is an aesthetic / that you project forward from behind your eyes

or that’s how i see you through my kaleyedescope

a-frame cabin / in the mountainside pines and the quaking aspens

red single-cab four by four toyota

and you in your hiking clothes

my inner self totally knows

that your inner dimension / is more than just face paint and long french braids

the hooded sweatshirts / that we wear / are like turtle shells / over our feathers

for when it’s wet and dreadful out

or that’s how i feel you through my oscilloscope

i don’t really care / how the tetris blocks fall

all i want is some translucence in this wall

i don’t really care / which appearance you take

just as long as i know you when i see you

concrete and coffee machines / and bottomless countertops

rising steam to meet the raindrops

old leather sofas and murphy beds / you in your retro-futuristic threads

my inner self knows

that your inner dimension / is more than just the makeup you up on

for the role you play

make no mistake / i know that you’ve orchestrated this creation as a match

to catch the way that you really feel

but our exoskeletons / are shells that we wear for protection

to control external perception / a little bit of misdirection

the real you / is really sparkly stars and mocha and blue

the lighter beats in the rhythm pattern / that get the atoms moving

are the electricity and longing and you

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springtime, inspiring

Poem "Skyhook"

"skyhook"

what is up / am i some sort of parasite / is that it
that i make a habit / of draining my own life
what's the endgame
can't keep crashing
the method to the madness is insufficient to rationalize it
it's moments like these / you close your eyes
and go back to the last hopeful thing that you can call to mind
so much of this is a cycle / for better or worse
falling is easy / climbing is much harder work

damn it / are you some sort of vampire / is that it

that you make a habit / out of draining the lifeblood from me

do you think that you set the stage for some sort of reckoning

but i’ve turned away / and i’m not looking back

i’ve got a red light on the horizon

and better uses for this energy

this vector is projecting forward / these guns keep the peace

i wrote my name in my own blood

before it bled away in the wash

and i lost my sense of identity / in all the descending

but this time / back it up / prick my finger
in binary digits / stored on this thumb drive

write it in silver / poured down thru the door of the airlock

at the foot of the sliver of the crescent moon

in a hexagonal pattern / inscribed on my iris

that projects elvish writing / on the wall / when my pupils dilate

it turns out / that the moon is waxing gibbous

i’m glowing thru my diamond skin / it just doesn't show

because of the invisibility that i wear as my mortal cloak

it’s just the mechanism / by which i survive

but if it’s imperfect / it’s okay / there’s still hope / there’s still a way

i’ll let the batteries run down low / and end it on this note

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Poem "Activate"

"activate"

stood there for a minute / didn't sense anything

that was only the intermission before the beginning

jumped to a conclusion / but lump it in with the confusion

maybe we weren't wasting time / maybe we were just clearing our minds

for this

this is it / this clicks / it’s an open secret / you can’t keep it

picked it back up after the fact / enough of this / more of that

a little elevation is all it takes / to see a sapphire instead of the lake

lapis lazuli / reflecting the sky

a little distance is all it takes / to see the trees for texture

and your smile as a net / to catch the light

attach myself to a magnet / attracted to the sky

actually to just a single fragment of the light that greets your eyes

seventh star to the right / and straight on to tomorrow

perfectly aligned / straight through an ancient hollow

you weren't wasting your time / you were just gracing mine

giving this

kiss you when you smile / bathe in liquid sunshine

like the sensory equivalent of that riff from 'sweet child o mine'

you activate / the primitive quintessential center of my brain

exchange a grin / with christina hendricks

wraithdt painted a scene / from the courtship of princess leia

norwegian friend / nobel prize / doe eyes

i speak in elliptical sentences / riffs like this / scratch that, it’s pretentious

if you get a little closer to the sun / it'll do / to melt your wax / and get you drunk

if you get into / the golden and the blue / if you get above

like those lions and eagles / with the talons and the teeth / and the adorable names

and the milky feathers and golden manes
it's great

and if you have something to say about it / it's all in fun

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--------------

based on today, with a thank you to some words from last year

it's good to remember, but better to be here

Poem "Brush"

now that it’s over / i need to be somewhere else

maybe i’m finally ready to return to myself

maybe i can be at peace / at least if nothing else

now that it’s over / i’ll take my old table in the corner

have a drink / and lean back / and breathe in the smoke and sap

in the low lights of the old fires

as i sing / i want to run my fingers / over the texture of your sweater

as i play / i want to send my voice / into a resonating chamber

what i’m looking for / is the ground beneath the floor

and the clouds above this roof

now that i’m clear / i need to get back to basics

in the open air / in a pair of retro asics

it can be as simple as that

now that you’re near / i need to spend some time with you

brush my fingers through your hair / breathe in

thread myself / between the needles of the trees

as i dream / i want to feel / the brushfire inside my mind

when i wake / i want the chill / of a morning in the pines

what i’m looking for / is a blade acute enough / to draw my blood

and a leach to bleed me free

spike me with a rush / let the tension gush

like a river underneath a suspension bridge

connect the dots / and tear them apart

in an undisciplined curve of fission

when i wake / i want to feel the chill / and the thrill / of the winds of change

what i’m looking for / is the ground beneath the floor

and the clouds above this roof

now that it’s over / i need to be somewhere else

maybe i’m finally ready to return to myself

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